it would try the patience of angels

Recording;

[Several noises cut in at once:

Street sounds, heard from an apartment with all its windows wide open. A dog barking, distant, as if it's been shut out somewhere. Knocking. Repeated, insistent knocking from someone getting no reply. The voice calling through the door isn't clear, but fragments and tail-ends of words can be made out.]

...'shiah. ....one's seen you ...'verything okay?

....'lo?

[Under it all, soft, but closer to the microphone - quiet, ragged breathing. The door rattles, and the next breath catches, held.]

[Something shatters, ceramic against stone. The barking stutters in surprise. The knocking stops.]

Recording Cuts Out;

[ooc: If Ishiah had been too late to save Robin's life. Taken three days post the fight with the Banu Zadeh.]

As there appears to be some confusion...

Memo: Lux Employees:

Viewable to: Public:

1) Working a shift of longer than four hours entitles you to free soda and, in addition, one free meal.
2) You do not have a tab.
3) None of the customers have a tab.
4) Drinks on the house are given at my discretion, not yours.
5) You are paid enough to be able to buy drinks for customers, at your own discretion.
6) Customers under the age of eighteen are served alcohol only at my discretion.
7) Entertainment staff and full time employees may have a small drinks allowance allotted to them. Ask me before assuming you are included in this minority case.
8) This is a job, not extra credit in a city wide popularity contest. Please try to remember that.

In addition, Lux has a new Proprietor. As with Mazikeen, you should refrain from bothering him if you see him around the bar.


[ooc: Ish is canonically on top of everything his employees do around the bar (and, quite often, outside it). He's very businesslike, but more easygoing than he sounds provided you're honest with him. If your character needs to get away with something for game purposes it's cool, just let me know. But no one should be getting away with too much <3]

[Auto Record Started;]

I love my dog as much as I love you
But you may fade, my dog will always come through.

All he asks from me is the food to give him strength
All he ever needs is love and that he knows he'll get

So, I love my dog as much as I love you
But you may fade, my dog will always come through.

All the pay I need comes shining through his eyes
I don't need no cold water to make me realize that

I love my dog as much as I love you
But you may fade, my dog will always come through.

Na, na, na, na, na, na--

Oh, what the-

[Click off]

Streets full of greying slush - now this is more like winter in New York. I can't say I'm nostalgic, although the turn in the weather has at least cut down the number of ironic requests for egg nog at the bar.

As much as I enjoy the cold, I do not particularly enjoy dealing with the idiots with handfuls of packed snow and a foolhardy disregard for the less pleasant side of frostbite accosting my customers and employees on any attempt to cross the square. Might I suggest not letting out your inner child if said child couldn't be trusted with not eating the play-doh.

Lux is still taking on new staff. For all the resumes mentioning having saved the world, you would think there might be one listing retail experience. Likewise in Manhattan you couldn't move for tripping over a dog walker. Here, none. Exactly how many hired assassins do we require in a city without death?

[Private to Lux staff || Lux Codes;]

I'm down one tender, and Anita is taking a break. Anyone trained to work at the bar who can cover extra shifts can expect a not quite christmas sized bonus for it.

I'll be marking down new stock in the back room for most of the night, if you need me in person.

Things I Have Argued With The Puck About.

Threatening to eat my dog.
Threatening to starve my dog.
Whether I prefer the dog.
If it is possible to stop buying plants.
Why one would want to stop buying plants.
Whether I prefer the plants.
Appropriate times to stop drinking.
Appropriate times to start bar fights.
Whether or not he has a tab.
Wings, the touching of.
Midget harridan housekeepers, the firing of.
Fire escapes, the proper use of.
Mirrored ceilings, tasteful or otherwise.
Whether those pants make him look fat.
Who won the argument.
Who started the argument.
Whether we are arguing.

Why I care.

Articles that do not stand before 'Lux'
1. The.

[Private to Delilah and Anita // Lux Codes;]
We sell alcohol, not training wheels. Whatever your interest-- and I have no interest in finding out --soda when he's in my bar, please.

[Private to Niko;]
Come in and see me about your schedule, if you would. I have a few things I'd like to talk to you about.

...One being your opinion on Georgina's living alone. Not particularly practical considering you have the apartment next door, don't you think?

[Private to Dawn Summers // Lux Codes // Mazikeen's Wards;]

I trust you'll let me know when you're fit enough to come in for training.

...Not the most terrifying of assailants, but I could do without the mess. We have some horses in the city, don't we? And Lux now has an abundance of lifeless hay littering the floor. Let's call it happy hour.


Boy Blue - a word, if you would.

[There is a blonde teenager standing in the middle of Xanadu, wearing little more than a toga skirt and sword belt.]

I'm told these are Xanadu's grounds, and that they lead out to some human city. I find this strange - I know of no man with such a name, and when last I checked we were not lodged near to Ur.

Nontheless, if anyone would be good enough to grace me with directions from the... ornamental pond... to the nearest taverna or gaming house? The bawdier the better. If I can't find him there...

Whoever this Xanadu is, he could benefit from a better gardener, a less erratic planting scheme and some sort of directional path. Or was building a labyrinth his intent?

Harah. How anyone is meant to navigate from this level is beyond me. If this fails I'll have to risk the air, humans or not.

[ooc: small text = very softly muttered.]

Has anyone seen Elaine? I've been looking for her all day.

Dear God,

My friends say I don't get out enough. I don't think they understand the necessary work involved in managing a bar, and how many people rely on me to get all the paperwork done on time, particularly while I'm still short a bookkeeper. I think I get out an adequate amount. I walk the dog twice a day.

My question: is overfeeding your dog a sign of loneliness?

Lonesome in Lux

Dear God,

Is it true that when a boy is mean to you it really means they like you? How can you tell for sure?

Please help,

Confused in the City.


[ooc: Ishiah means Godsend. Sooo he's been spending all day sending 'dear Abby' letters to God. Any god. If your character is a deity of any sort, feel free to have received one. Letters are viewable to anyone.]

And I'd thought Hamelin Piper tired of this trick centuries ago.


[Filtered to TCLS Crew;]

There again, the Ham I know favors the saxophone thesedays. I'm going to see what exactly is so eager to lure us into the forest. At least one of you may have other concerns to see to.

Advice on keeping obnoxious singing hats out of my private property aside: Insect repellant. Any particular recommendations? I had thought it was too early in the season to be troubled, but from the number of bites I've woken up with, it seems not.

[Lux Staff Filter || Unhackable;]

I have no accounting records for yesterday, or evidence that the bar was open at all. If you worked and expect to be paid I'd like to hear about it.

Was I present?

Toshiko, I imagine you've seen the computer troubles across the network. Is there any way of checking whether attempts have been made on Lux's systems? It might prove to be the unbiased test you were looking for.

[ooc: woke from the curse with no memory of yesterday's curse. It's for the best, rly. Strikes gone.]

[EDIT: I AM GETTING NO MAIL grr, so tags will be slow(er).]

Don't listen to what they're saying down on tin pan alley, the trouble with the law wasn't no trouble at all. If you've got the word from the bird, Lux supperclub is doing business as usual. All on the up and up, just java, juice and the best jazz in town.

Miss Toshiko? You're one tough dame to keep track of, and I don't like what's been hitting my ears lately. You don't get in touch with me, you get in touch with someone and make sure they're loud about it, you hear?

[Private to Lux Employees | Lux Filter]

I've got places to be; don't let me hear about any of you taking wooden nickels. No hooch to anyone without the word, and no singing to the wrong folk, got it?

[Private to Robin Goodfellow]

About the other day. I...

[ooc: Affected to a degree. Considering this kind of speech was only an affectation for him back in the real 1920s he'll snap in and out of it depending who he's talking to. >> And yes, Lux is your standard speakeasy, flappers, jazz and bootlegged booze.]

So. Whn healig fails and three are no more banadges?

[Private to Lux staff | Lux codes]

Therre ar engh of you to opn. i m not to be dtsurbed.


[ooc: Not drunk! It's hard to type when you're exhausted and your keyboard's covered in blood. Harder to talk with a gaping hole in your cheek, though. Funtiems.]

As people still appear to be arriving with inaccurate expectations: Lux provides live music four nights per week. This is at present the only form of organised entertainment laid on, and any functions now or in its future are highly likely to require all patrons to remain vertical.

Claims to the contrary were made under a curse. I apologise to those given the wrong impression by anything I said that day.

[Private to Holly Short, Lilith Sahl, Ada | Unhackable | Lux Codes]

To you in particular, I apologise.

[Private to Gren | Unhackable | Lux Codes]

If there is any possibility of trouble in my establishment it should go without saying that I'd rather hear of it before reading the details on the network.

[Private to Niko, Delilah, Anita Blake | Unhackable | Lux Codes]

Not to be admitted on nights when we have live music. At any other time I would like to be informed of his patronage. Thank you.

[ooc: First two links not IC. Tags probably slow as I'm not well.]

[LOCKED POST MIDNIGHT | still open to anyone wanting to backdate ]


Why I weary myself overseeing this bar and the ramshackle collection of misfits I employ here is beyond me. It can't be for the alcohol, it isn't as if I've ever had to pay for that myself. None of you appreciate the magnanimous gesture I extend in keeping the place open at all for you to sully.

Yes, I know it's beautiful, the plants in here are some of the better specimens the Hanging Gardens of Babylon had to offer, and I should know, I was the one who dissuaded Nebuchadnezzar from planting pansies (very eager, old Neb, but he needed a guiding hand in every arena). They, and my presence, of course, make drinking here an experience of unparalleled delight.

The thanks I get? I don't think we've had a single orgy in Lux since it opened.

Still, better late than never. Who wants to sign up for the inaugural experience, hmm? Try not to overcrowd the place, I'll get to everyone in time.

Think of it as auditioning for Touched By An Angel with a very, very large casting couch.

[Filtered from Robin Goodfellow;]

If anyone has any business with me, make it brief, and tonight while I am at least momentarily in the correct city.

Who do we have still missing? Is there a confirmed method of return or are we still attempting to make sense of network speculation??

Scarlett, staff schedules and this weeks payroll are on your desk, accounting for staff in both places. I don't intend to be gone long; if I am, you'll make do.

Captain Short, have you returned yet? Nill, You spoke... yourself?

Kurama-- my apologies.

[LOCKED AND UNHACKABLE POST MIRROR CITY CURSE]



[Private | Viewable to Lux employees | Lux Encryption;]

Test of the new security system, lowest level.

[/Private]

[half an hour later...]

[Private | Accidentally viewable to Lux employees | Lux Encryption;]

QWERTYUIOP[]1234567890

07734

4V1451.

Milk. Eggs. Hummus. Cucumber. Yogurt. Dolmadakia. Flea bath. Kibble. Astroglide.

[/Private]

[nearly an hour later...]

[Private | Accidentally viewable to Lux employees | Lux Encryption;]

Possible uses for ten near identical shirts in different shades of the same color:

1)
2) ...
3) I could strangle him with them.

[/Private]

[Accidental Voice Post;]

No fatter than the last pair.

[The swish of fabric and a questioning voice in the background, muffled.]

No fatter than the pair before that.

[More swishing fabric, then silence for a while. A yawn, more muffled questions.]

Is this a test? You've padded the seat. [muffled protests!] ...Well in that case I'd best ask directions to the plus size section, hadn't I. One moment.

[A thud. Static. Cut-out.]

[LOCKED AND UNHACKABLE POST MIRROR CITY CURSE]

I suppose there are instances where I can overlook a missed workday. I'd like to hear everyone else's excuse, however. Note that claiming to be trapped in a strange, alternate version of the city is only part of the way to proof.

Normally I'd be more up to date on exactly what this curse means for those affected. I've... been somewhat distracted, would anybody care to fill me in?

And Robin, I ordered some new plants.



Honeysuckle. Lonicera Caprifolium. Goat Flowers.

As it appears I was too late to give you the moon.

I wonder exactly how many world's villages are currently lacking an idiot.

Lux is warded. We don't serve human blood, nor do we charge for it. However, and for as long as this 'curse' remains in place, we will be relaxing the policy on bringing in outside beverages, so long as they are willing.

In short, you can feed here. Look for the bar with the lamb's blood above the door.

[Filtered to Lux staff list;]

I won't be available to enforce this myself, I trust I can leave it to someone to make sure any blood is taken in the form of donations, not sacrifices.

Yes, the lamb's blood is new, yes it is intentional, do not wipe it off.

[Filtered to TCLS, Kurama, Robin's housemates;]

Robin was attacked last night. He's healing. Until then he will be staying here; I'm contactable but I would rather not be disturbed.

( Not IC cut. Size queen??? )

...Ugh.

I know at least two of you survived Saturday intact. If any of the rest of my staff happen to be missing the requisite limbs to do their job properly please do let me know. Then find a healer before I need to arrange cover.

Today we appear to have zombies. Unless you have become one of their number I'm not expecting you to call in. I am expecting you to avoid them if you don't know what you're doing with a sword. As a note on policy, we don't allow zombies in the bar, it's a matter of hygiene. Niko?

Anita, I'm going to assume yesterday wasn't a good time and that I'll see you today or tomorrow.

Toshiko, I'll be available all afternoon.

Filtered to Scarlett, Viewable to Lux staff;

Scarlett, as of next week I may have someone coming in to look at the computer system. If you're amenable to the idea I'd like her to train you to do the bookkeeping on it.

Furthermore - Robin Goodfellow. An occasional hazard of the job. Handling him is not part of your job description. In the event that I'm not here and it becomes necessary for you to do so you will be reimbursed for your troubles. I doubt you're short of rebuttals, but may I suggest telling him you don't date overweight men.

( Housekeeping | Viewable to Mazikeen & Elaine | Unhackable; )

What brings me here? Whose arts are these?
Stolen from slumber 'neath the trees,
Peaseblossom I, of fairy bow'r
Trapped in this dark and stony tower.
If woods be near I'll find them out,
Then go flitting all thereabout,
Until I find that flow'ry bed,
Where my mistress yet lays her head.
The forest! I am there anon;
My mistress calls and I'll be gone!

[ooc: Yes, Ishiah is a fairy for the day. His wings are gossamer and he'll be running around the forest should anyone want to encounter him. Also I fail at catalectic trochaic tetrameter, have the standard kind instead and pretend it's correct. If written badly. >>]